The Last Homo (PG-13)

June 29, 2010

The Last Homo (PG-13)

Europe: about 25,000 BC. The war between modern humans (Homo Sapiens) & Neanderthals (Homo Californicacious) is drawing to a close. The primitive Neanderthals, have been all but wiped out, by the more advanced invaders from Africa. Only a single Neanderthal remains: Ugg (Arnold Schwarzenegger).

Ugg is determined not to go quietly and mounts a one-man guerrilla war against the humans. During one particularly successful raid against the human camp, Ugg kidnaps the leader’s mate (Halle Berry). The human leader (Wesley Snipes) is furious and orders his men to hunt down and  kill the savage before he can mate with his woman.

Will brute force & primitive weapons prevail against brains, long enough for Ugg to pass on his genes? Or is Ugg (& his entire species) facing extinction?

* the opening battle scene will feature the acting debut of World Cup star Carlos Tevez, seen here with his mother:

Clean Sweep (G)

December 18, 2008


Clean Sweep (G)

Morgan Fitch (Wesley Snipes) and Denton Rothgate (Hugh Laurie) are two high-flying executives in New York City who, together with Rothgate’s son Billy (Seth Green), run Fitch Rothgate & Son – one of the city’s largest investment banks.

Due to a series of risky business deals in which they invested all of their own personal fortunes, Fitch and Rothgate find themselves unemployable and penniless.

Forced to fend for themselves on the mean streets of New York, the two are offered jobs as janitors at their former firm by their son – who is now in charge of the bank they founded.

While working as janitors they discover clues that indicate that Billy orchestrated their downfall. Fitch and Rothgate work together to unravel the mystery and rescue their reputations.

sub-plot: love interest – some secretary (Elisha Cuthbert) that Fitch ignored when he was rich – but he now starts to fancy her. He comes to realise the money loss is a blessing in disguise, as he would have never paid her any attention if he was still rich. Totally nails her out by the dumpster.