Vampires of Atlantis

Original Synopsis

Summary: Secret British agent Felicity Kisschase and American naval Captain Ed Buckman, taken prisoner board a German U-boat, find themselves helping the captain and crew battle underwater vampires after their sub crashes, disturbing the lost city of Atlantis.


Mission Accomplished

1942: A German U-boat is making a trans-Atlantic crossing back to Europe. Having picked up treacherous American codebreaker ARNOLD HIPPLEMEYER and his German mistress (ANNA) on the eastern seaboard of the United States, WOLF, a high ranking German minister and personal friend of Adolf Hitler, and GUNTHER, the U-boat’s captain, pop open some champagne in the captain’s quarters in celebration of the successful first phase of their mission.

ARNOLD has decided to sell his codebreaking formula to the Germans in exchange for a life of luxury with ANNA. He’s holding a briefcase which is handcuffed to his right wrist and WOLF’s left wrist. I trust you’ve brought the needful for the Fuhrer? Why else would I be here attached to you and this briefcase?

GUNTHER and ANNA are flirting. He fills her glass often, while exchanging witty repartee. There is a genuine mutual attraction between them. GUNTHER suggests that ANNA should drop by his cabin later. ANNA feigns shock and suggests that she could have him killed for making such a suggestion. Forgive me, Anna; I am just a lonely sailor who’s been at sea too long.

ANNA looks at her watch. 3:30AM. Ok boys, I don’t know about you but a girl needs her beauty sleep. They all agree it’s time to end the party. WOLF gives an over-enthusiastic Nazi salute: Heil Hitler! ANNA and GUNTHER reluctantly reciprocate. ARNOLD, too, just smiles nervously, shrugs and rattles his right wrist which is impeded by the chained briefcase. WOLF is not amused.
Plan B

Back at their cabins, ANNA, ARNOLD and WOLF are met by a guard stationed outside their door. There’s a short discussion about the complicated sleeping arrangements. WOLF makes it clear that the handcuffs will not be coming off under any circumstances. The guard appears to give a little snigger but a fierce look from WOLF stops him in his tracks. Eventually ANNA is persuaded to come inside the men’s cabin for a ‘nightcap’. As they file into the cabin, WOLF glares at the guard, looking for the slightest sign of a smirk. WOLF is not amused.

Inside the cabin, ANNA waits for the right moment to make her move – she grabs WOLF’s luger and (now speaking with a British accent – she’s actually British secret agent FELICITY KISSCHASE!) orders them to hand over the briefcase. But my dear, the only key is in the Fuhrer’s pocket… and if you hadn’t noticed, we are in the middle of the Atlantic!
FELICITY thinks for a second, takes the lipstick from her handbag, attaches it to the gun (it’s a silencer) and calmly shoots both men in the forehead. (pfft! pfft!)

ARNOLD and WOLF’s bodies slump to the floor. FELICITY looks at the briefcase still attached to men’s wrists, and then glances around the room, her eyes eventually coming to rest on an axe mounted on the wall.

Outside the cabin, the guard hears two loud thuds. The door slowly opens. FELICITY peers out, smiling seductively. Would you mind coming inside for a moment? We could really use an extra pair of hands.
The guard steps inside. (pfft!)

The Escape

Meanwhile, GUNTHER is in his cabin, pacing up and down. He opens the door slowly and sees FELICITY approaching down the long corridor. He quickly shuts the door, grabs a bottle of champagne from the cooler and jumps on the bed expecting her entrance. 

FELICITY is now alone in the escape hatch, holding the bloody briefcase. She strips to her underwear, takes a small device from her handbag and clamps it to the wall. She takes a deep breath and opens the escape hatch. She swims to the surface.

It’s just before dawn. FELICITY sets off a flare. A few hundred yards away is an American destroyer. On the bridge of the American boat, the captain, ED BUCKMAN, is watching FELICITY through binoculars. He orders his men to retrieve FELICITY from the water.


Back on the U-boat, GUNTHER is still lying on his bed, his smile slowly being replaced by a frown. What the hell is keeping her?

GUNTHER leaves his cabin and begins to wander the sub; eventually he passes the escape hatch. He sees the pile of clothes and looks at the hatch with a puzzled expression. The ticking of the device on the wall attracts his attention and with only seconds to spare he’s able to disarm the bomb.

GUNTHER raises the alarm. He rushes to WOLF’s cabin, opens the door and finds the three dead bodies. WOLF is on the floor, his handless arm positioned in the position of a Nazi salute. On the wall, written in blood, are the words: ‘Heil Hitler’.

We’re Sunk!

GUNTHER makes contact with ED via the emergency band. He offers to let the American ship go if he hands over FELICITY and the briefcase. No deal. GUNTHER orders his men to open fire. The American destroyer is struck by a direct hit. The ship explodes, breaks in half and begins to sink. FELICITY and ED try to hold onto the sinking ship as long as possible before they jump.

GUNTHER orders a couple of his men to retrieve any survivors. FELICITY (still clutching the briefcase) and ED are brought aboard. At the helm, GUNTHER smugly welcomes FELICITY back. Despite what you might think, I am not a monster. I am just trying to complete my mission – much like you, I assume? GUNTHER grabs the briefcase from FELICITY and places it in a special compartment on the helm.

FELICITY and ED are taken away to be locked up. On the way to their cells, FELICITY and ED pass WOLF being wrapped in a Nazi flag and placed in a coffin.

Meanwhile, having been alerted to the area by the American destroyer, a British submarine destroyer spots the U-boat and attacks it with depth-charges. GUNTHER orders the sub to dive. It submerges deeper and deeper. The hull begins to creak under the immense pressure. Eventually, GUNTHER loses control of the sub. Despite their attempts, however, the sub does not re-start and sinks to the seabed.

Just before impact, GUNTHER and several of the sailors see what appears to be an underwater city – a central dome, with eight corridors/pipes coming out of it, like the spokes of a wheel, lying on its side. The sub crashes to a halt on the ocean’s floor.

Mysterious Discovery

The fate of the sub seems grim. According to the gauges, the badly damaged sub has less than an hour’s worth of air left. It’s lost all power and some sailors begin to say their prayers.

Mysteriously, the sub begins to be dragged along the ocean floor. From inside the sub, it’s impossible to tell how but it’s clear that the sub is headed towards the (what appears to be) underwater city. The sub eventually stops moving. Using the periscope, GUNTHER discovers that they’ve been dragged into a large underwater dry dock which seems to contain breathable air and a dark tunnel at one end which leads back to the open sea.

GUNTHER, arming himself with a Luger, makes his way outside of the vessel. He orders FELICITY and ED to be released from their cell and brought along. I don’t want them out of my sight! In absence of a better plan, GUNTHER orders most of the sailors to arm themselves and wait by the sub while he, FELICITY, ED and a small landing party explore further.

The interior of the structure is a strange, dripping-wet, organic looking structure. The walls and floor seem to be made of thick leather. It’s lit by phosphorous and burning natural gas. As they make their way down a tunnel, one of the German sailors accidentally cuts his hand. The blood drops onto the floor and is quickly absorbed. The walls seem to move slightly.

Far away, in the central dome of the ‘city’, a sleeping figure awakes startled, as if he had just heard an intruder.

Mr & Mrs Du Pompadour, I presume?

The search party finds its way to the central dome where they are surprised to be greeted by CHARLES DU POMPADOUR and his female companion, ELIZABETH. On the surface they appear to be an aristocratic looking couple (though very pale), dressed in floor length Victorian frock coats. Their feet cannot be seen and they seem to glide rather than walk when they move. Behind them is what looks like a gigantic beating heart, built into the wall of the translucent dome.

GUNTHER introduces himself, and explains that FELICITY and ED are his prisoners and must be treated as such (they are both still handcuffed – but not to each other). CHARLES laughs: Rest easy, Captain. They have nowhere to go!

CHARLES and ELIZABETH lead the group on a tour of the structure explaining the origins of their city. They explain many of their material goods (clothing, etc) come from shipwrecks that reach the ocean floor. It becomes apparent to the visitors that this ‘city’ is the final resting place of several relics from naval wreckages – including some visible remnants of the Titanic. Everything we know about you, we’ve learnt from wrecks. We have watched your civilization develop for better and for worse. Considering the level of activity of late, I suspect you are the midst of yet another one of your silly wars.
(As they are walking along, ELIZABETH and GUNTHER exchange several lustful glances.)

The group stops in front of a large circular door. Charles waves his necklace (which for the purposes of this movie we will refer to as ‘the amulet’) in front of the door which opens like a giant sphincter, revealing a spectacular coral hall. CHARLES invites GUNTHER and FELICITY (And perhaps the lady would like to join us?) into the hall and suggests that ED and GUNTHER’s crew wait outside. GUNTHER instructs the crew members to take ED back to the sub and wait. As soon as the doors close, ED and the German sailors are grabbed by tentacles and dragged off into the darkness.

The grand hall has a large banquet table in the middle, adorned will all sorts of luxurious fine china, crystal, etc. CHARLES and ELIZABETH serve wine (that looks like blood) and eye their guests. What fine specimens you are…

Breaking his silence, GUNTHER askign the obvious question: Is there any way out of here?

CHARLES is taken aback. Why would you want to leave? To go back to your war? To go kill and be killed? Might I suggest you would be better off here? You can stay and live in peace. You should know that we are an open and inviting society not bound by any moral code.

CHARLES suggests to ELIZABETH to take GUNTHER on a tour of their ‘museum’, while he remains alone with FELICITY.  I’m sure he’ll find it fascinating. I’ll keep the lovely lady company. GUNTHER looks uneasily at FELICITY (she is still his prisoner after all). Oh don’t be such a worry guts GUNTHER, I can take care of myself. If I need you I’ll just shout. FELICITY leans in and gives GUNTHER a peck on the cheek while at the same time, surreptitiously pick-pockets his Luger.

FELICITY half-heartedly asks GUNTHER to remove her handcuffs. He laughs off the request and reminds her that she is still his prisoner. GUNTHER backs away with ELIZABETH, looking very pleased with himself, and gives FELICITY the ‘I’m watching you’ hand gesture.

Meanwhile, ED awakes to find himself in a dark, damp room. He is hanging upside down, tied at his legs. The sound of dripping is the only noise he can hear. He then hears moaning and realises that the other German sailors are also strung upside down. There are ‘things’ scurrying around in the dark, jumping up and biting them. ED’s vision slowly adjusts to the darkness and he sees a large translucent sac, hanging from the ceiling. Then, out of an orifice connected to the sac, a swarm of evil looking bees emerge, heads straight for one of the Germans and begins to extract the sailor’s bloody pollen. Soon the helpless victim is covered from head to foot in a writhing mass which resembles a giant man-sized bee’s nest. The swollen bees eventually return to the orifice (leaving behind a drained corpse) to deposit their nectar into the sac, which slowly fills with blood. Soon the bees return for the next German in line. ED realises he’s in some sort of automated ‘abattoir’ and begins to struggle desperately to free himself – before it’s his turn to be ‘processed’.
Back in the coral hall, ELIZABETH is trying to seduce GUNTHER into staying. She’s showing him the selection of shipwreck relics, some dating back hundreds of years. She hands him an old photograph of a middle aged couple and a young woman (clearly their daughter) boarding a ship (the Titanic). GUNTHER looks closely at the young woman, then at ELIZABETH. GUNTHER mistakes the younger woman for ELIZABETH but she corrects him by pointing out that she is in fact the mother in the photo. ELIZABETH explains how CHARLES rescued her and offered her eternal life. She suggests GUNTHER can have eternal life as well, if he so desired. GUNTHER is taken aback by the suggestion, pulls out a photo of his own wife and child and shows it to Elizabeth. This is my life. What you have down here is worse than death. ELIZABETH, looking regretful, breathes a heavy sigh.
On the other side of the room, CHARLES is now making the same offer to FELICITY that he made to ELIZABETH all those years ago. But FELICITY is also not interested and is becoming impatient with this nonsense.  As is CHARLES, who breathes a heavy sigh.

CHARLES: “Very well. Let me put it another way my dear, accept my offer or die.”
FELICITY: “I don’t appreciate being threatened Count Du Pompadour. Luckily for you, I’m pressed for time so I may overlook it.”
CHARLES: “But time means nothing to me my dear, I’m offering you eternal life.”
CHARLES leans in closer to her, baring his teeth. FELICITY pulls out the luger and points it at CHARLES, holding it with both hands (as she’s still handcuffed). She orders him to open the door to the hall. GUNTHER sees what’s happening and rushes over, looking more embarrassed than angry as he taps his empty holster.

FELICITY threatens to kill anyone who gets in her way, unless the door is opened. GUNTHER (slightly amused) informs CHARLES that she is not joking. FELICITY warns GUNTHER that they must take her seriously otherwise he would be next to be shot. FELICITY, recognising that CHARLES will not budge, opens fire and shoots him right between the eyes – but incredibly CHARLES seems unhurt. He frowns and squeezes the bullet out and drops it on the floor.

FELICITY fires the rest of the round into CHARLES but with little effect. CHARLES and ELIZABETH throw off their frock-coats and reveal their true selves: humanoid from the waist up but instead of legs, they have eight powerful tentacles. FELICITY and GUNTHER are stunned and run off to find another exit. They are pursued by CHARLES and ELIZABETH (Luckily for our heroes, they move like snails – not quite as slowly as snails but certainly slower than the humans…)

Back in the bleeding chamber, ED is now alone, still hanging upside down, next to five drained corpses waiting for the bees to return for him. The first of the bees begin to emerge from the orifice. ED screams. Luckily FELICITY and GUNTHER pass by and enter the chamber. They cut ED down and get out before the swarm arrives. They brief each other as they continue to make their way through the city towards the sub. GUNTHER removes ED and FELICITY’s handcuffs: We’ve got bigger fish to fry.


FELICITY, GUNTHER and ED arrive back at the sub in the dry dock. All the crew are on deck or outside, stand at attention. GUNTHER is informed that the sub has been fixed and is ready to leave upon his orders. CHARLES and ELIZABETH appear at the mouth of the cave. CHARLES holds his amulet close to the wall and the exit to the dry dock closes like a gigantic sphincter. CHARLES and ELIZABETH slither towards the sub.

The crew load their weapons and surround CHARLES. GUNTHER orders his men to kill CHARLES and ELIZABETH. Fire at will! The crew open fire with what seems ridiculous overkill. When they eventually stop shooting, CHARLES and ELIZABETH are bleeding and stunned but still standing. Now it’s our turn. What follows is an orgy of violence as German throats are slashed, bones broken and bodies are hurled through the air.

ED can see that they are fighting a losing battle and advises FELICITY and GUNTHER to get on board the sub and escape, while he and the remaining crew try to hold off CHARLES and ELIZABETH. GUNTHER informs ED that they cannot escape without CHARLES’ amulet, as blasting their way out would most likely bring down the structure. You’ll have to find another way, now just go and save yourselves!

FELICITY, GUNTHER and another German sailor enter the sub and climb down to the bottom of the hatch. GUNTHER orders the sailor to stay and secure the hatch. GUNTHER and FELICITY rush off towards the bridge. The sailor slams the heavy door shut intending to lock himself in the cylindrical hatch area but finds that ELIZABETH has been hiding behind the door. She hisses and attacks. In a blur of tentacles and blood, the sailor is killed.

FELICITY and GUNTHER look back to see ELIZABETH emerging from the hatch. She seems very angry. FELICITY and GUNTHER run frantically through the sub, slamming doors behind them along the way. ELIZABETH smashes through everything in her way.

FELICITY and GUNTHER reach a room which contains a decompression chamber. GUNTHER is looking increasingly ill. He manages to catch a reflection of himself and notices a bite mark on his neck. Thinking back to his intimate moments with ELIZABETH, GUNTHER instantly recognises his predicament.

GUNTTHER implores FELICITY to hide. Reluctantly she obeys. GUNTHER enters the pressure chamber, luring ELIZABETH (who has just entered the room) in the process. He hides behind the door and when ELIZABETH enters he slams it shut and breaks off the handle. FELICITY leaps from her hiding spot and GUNTHER begs her to crank up the pressure dial. FELICITY hesitantly complies. ELIZABETH begins to wriggle uncontrollably in agony. GUNTHER (also visibly uncomfortable) and FELICITY are calmly pressed up against either side of the chamber door’s window. We’ll always have Atlantis. They kiss through the glass. GUNTHER’s head explodes. The glass is covered in ‘jam’ but FELICITY doesn’t even flinch as her eyes are closed.

Outside the sub, ED is the only human left alive, he makes one last desperate lunge at CHARLES, knocking him into the water, the fight continues but CHARLES is in his element now. CHARLES has ED pressed up against the side of the sub punching him with a clenched tentacle. He aims a particularly heavy swing but ED ducks out of the way. Behind him is an auxiliary propeller, which suddenly starts spinning, CHARLES’s tentacle is turned into sliced salami. He roars in pain (muffled by the water).

(Cut to a shot of FELICITY starting the engine, flicking switches etc)

Miraculously, CHARLES’ tentacle grows back. He is really angry now and the fight continues. He repeatedly punches ED. They’re holding each other like boxers. Now it’s ED’s turn to get really angry, he places his hand under CHARLES’ chin, forcing his head into the propeller. In one mighty shove, accompanied by a grinding crunching noise, CHARLES’ head disappears as the water turns red. ED releases hold of CHARLES’ lifeless, decapitated body (while grabbing the amulet) and CHARLES slowly sinks to the seabed. (ED:“Blub blub blub!, blubberblubber!” – subtitles: Grow that back, motherfucker!)

ED swims to the surface and gulps air, noticing that the sub has now dived below the surface in the dry dock. He takes a deep breath and swims to the cave door.  ED rubs the amulet against it. He swims back to the sub’s hatch and lets himself in.

On the bridge, FELICITY is sailing the sub, out of the corner of her eye, she sees the door begin to open. She grabs a gun. ED enters. You weren’t thinking of leaving without me?

They Think it’s All Over

Just as the sub is leaving the ‘city’, amazingly, one of the giant ‘pipes’ starts to move and wraps itself around the sub like a tentacle. The whole ‘city’ comes to life and reveals itself to be a gigantic monster octopus! Jesus!

Underneath the octopus is a hive, containing hundreds (possibly thousands) of vampires, just like CHARLES and ELIZABETH. They all swim towards the sub.

FELICITY leaves ED at the helm of the sub, and heads down to the torpedo room to arm the sub. When she gets there she realises that there are only two left. She loads them up into the tubes and returns to the helm to inform ED of their situation.

The monster octopus holds the sub (like a man about to shoot himself with a shotgun). Fire one: flesh wound. Fire two: bigger wound, exposing the giant beating heart but it’s still very much alive and they’re out of ammo! They have to act fast; the vampire colony is now all over the hull like flies.

FELICITY has an idea. She drags WOLF’s coffin to the torpedo room and loads it into one of the tubes. Fire three: direct hit! The wooden coffin is embedded in the beast’s heart. It releases its grip and dies. The interior fills with blood and explodes. Gotcha BloodsuckAAAAAAS!!!!!

The freed sub now rises and heads for the surface. But the vampires are still ferociously trying to claw their way through the hull. Leaks begin to appear all over the sub. It starts to fill with water, slowing it down. The holes keep getting bigger. Hands and faces try to squeeze through. More power, let’s give it everything we’ve got!

The sub erupts through the surface of the ocean (in slow motion) into the dawn’s early light. The sun’s rays turn the vampires into dust. The ones, who are not instantly killed, are forced to swim desperately down towards the dark depths. But the light, flooding the water, has the same effect on them. Their bodies break up into clumps of mud.

Smooth Sailing
ED puts out an emergency call to the British submarine destroyer, explaining that they’ve commandeered the vessel. ED and FELICITY (clutching the briefcase) are welcomed aboard. Well Felicity, we’ve made it. How about a kiss? As they kiss, we notice ED’s arm has two bite marks, which are beginning to sizzle in the daylight. His face splodes all over FELICITY. I’m having absolutely no luck with men today. She looks at her watch (now cracked & bloodstained): 5:00 AM. Not bad for a day’s work.




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