Quackers: The Line Dancing Duck (U)

Genre: All singing, all dancing, country music, cartoon caper

After Daddy Duck (Owen Wilson) is killed by a savage fox (Neil Diamond), Mummy Duck (Anna Paquin) struggles to raise her seven ducklings, including the youngest ‘Quackers’ (Taylor Swift)

Quackers suggests that they enter the big line dancing contest, to be held at the Grand Ole Opry, in one week (prize: $1000). So the family set off on (webbed) foot to Nashville.

But along the way, disaster strikes, Quackers (being the smallest) is unable to keep up and gets separated from her family. Mummy Duck is distraught, but has to continue, for the sake of the others.

Brave little Quackers is determined to catch up and continues alone. Along the way she meets several new friends:
Teets, the pregnant Cow (Dolly Parton)
Jumpy, the coke sniffing Rooster (Jack White)
Scrotum O’Neil, the 200 year old Tortoise (Lyle Lovett)

Eventually, she makes it to the contest, just in time for the dance off between the final 2 teams: her family & a pack of foxes led by the son of a gun who killed her pappy!

Tagline: Get y’all ducks in row

Captain Pickle’s Fuzzy Warm Hugs Gang (G)

Genre: Psychedelic/surrealistic animated tosh

Struggling conceptual artists Stan Redman and Calvin Green (voiced by Owen and Luke Wilson) travel to a transcendental meditation retreat in Rikikesh, India, seeking spiritual guidance and artistic inspiration (and drugs). Other guests include cartoon versions of Mia Farrow, Ringo Starr, Brian Wilson, Jeff Bridges, Dame Judi Dench, etc.

Soon after their arrival, however, the Maharishi (the retreat’s guru) is kidnapped by a group of monsters known as the Bad Vibes (who dress somewhat like the Taliban and have a dislike for creativity).

Redman and Green convince the other guests to form a musical band (dubbed ‘Captain Pickle’s Fuzzy Warm Hugs Gang’) to fight the Bad Vibes with ‘good vibes’ and to show them the value of love, music and art (and drugs).

Bombarded with endless music, the Bad Vibes are forced to surrender. Redman and Green offer a token of friendship (shrooms) to the Chief Bad Vibe and he has a ‘change of heart’. The Maharishi is saved and an enormous (drug fueled) party ensues!


Listen to Captain Pickle’s Theme Here

Possible Dialogue:

Redman: “But are you riding the horse? or is the horse riding you?”



Loop-de-Loop (PG-13)

December 7, 2008



Billy (Owen Wilson) & Jimmy Loop (Luke Wilson) are two cocksure former Air Force pilots who are still struggling with their discharge from the Armed Forces. Having drifted apart after their discharge, they are to be reunited for the anniversary of their father’s death.

On September 11th, 2011, Billy & Jimmy are flying home to San Francisco on separate flights. Just as they are about to land, the planes seemingly have a mind of their own. Unbeknownst to the passengers, the planes have been commandeered by a cyber-terrorist (Omid Djalili) who has implanted a chip into the planes’ computer systems. Using this chip, the terrorist is able to control the planes from a remote location.

While the rest of passengers are panicking, the Loops spring into action knowing that their piloting skills may be useful. Having discovered that the current airline pilots are incapable of handling the situation themselves, the Loops take over the jumbo planes.

It’s the first time they’ve piloted in several years. They are soon in communication with the head of air traffic control, James Preston (Dennis Hopper) who fills them in with the details of the day’s events. So far, 4 planes have crashed into famous landmarks throughout the US. After recognising each others voices over the radio, the brothers are astonished that they have found themselves in identical situations.

It becomes abundantly clear that the planes are heading toward the Golden Gate Bridge.  Fellow passenger, boy genius Skip Hipplemeyer (Hayley Joel Osment), manages to use his laptop to render the controlling device useless. Having been informed of the kids’ intervention, Billy Loop instructs Jimmy similarly over the radio. With moments to spare, the brothers are given control of the planes and are forced to rely on their piloting skills. Just as it appears that they have run out of time, the brothers pull off a stunning loop-de-loop to avoid disaster.

Status: Plug pulled after threat of lawsuit by makers of Cabin Pressure.