Prince Sese Maloko Muamba of Connecticut (G)  

tracy-morgan

tracymorgan

Having been raised by adoptive parents in suburban Connecticut, Larry Martin (Tracy Morgan) lives a typical middle-class life… until he learns that his real father is an African king (as a dying wish, the king’s advisors were been sent to find the son he once abandoned – king played by Eddie Murphy).

Assuming he is to inherit massive wealth, Larry embraces his African roots, adopting traditional dress, decorating his house in African art, employing African proverbs, hiring a witch doctor, etc. Finding it easy to obtain credit as the son of a king, he spends freely on lavish dinners, entertaining local business people and leaders.

Larry, however, runs into trouble with the law when he’s caught on camera killing an elephant at a local zoo whilst on a ‘hunt’. Creditors also catch up to him making financial demands that he can’t meet.

But all ends well when Larry finds out he’s not a prince after all – it’s some other adopted Larry Martin living in Delaware – and it’s all good because the other Larry Martin ends up being served with a massive debt repayment notices.

Possible dialogue:

LM: I think I’ll have a McElephant for dinner.

Servant: Umm… your highness… the McElephant does not exist.

LM: Load up my rifle. We’re going McHunting.

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Chalkdust (PG-13)

ferrell

Wimbledon: The 70’s
John McEnroe (Will Ferrell) & Bjorn Borg (Mackenzie Crook) use their position as swinging sports superstars (& bitter rivals) as a cover for their international drug smuggling operation.
Katherine Heigl is the MI6 agent, determined to bring them down, who poses as the British No.1 seed (while also fending off the sexual advances of her doubles partner, Ukranian No.1 (Judi Dench).
Special appearance by Cliff Richard as ‘Mr Big’.

When We Were Kingpins (PG-13)

morgan

Kinshasa, Zaire: The 70’s
Muhammad Ali (Cuba Gooding Jr) & George Foreman (Tracy Morgan) use their position as swinging sports superstars (& bitter rivals) as a cover for their international drug smuggling operation.
Halle Berry is the CIA agent determined to bring them down, who poses as a ring-card girl.
Special appearance by Don King as ‘Mr Big’.

Shot Putz (PG-13)

rogen

Munich: The 70’s
Seth Rogen & Sacha Baron Cohen us their position as kidnapped & murdered Israeli athletes as a cover for their international drug smuggling operation.
Natalie Portman is the Mossad agent determined to bring them down.
Special appearance by Woody Allen as ‘Mr Big’.

The Human $ellout (G)

July 20, 2009

The Human $ellout (G)

Bingo Balls

Big Balls

When marketing executive Bill Peterson (Jim Carrey) loses his job, he faces ruin. In the midst of an economic meltdown, he has little prospects of re-employment and is saddled by a whopping mortgage. To make ends meet, he decides to do what he knew best… he becomes a human marketing tool.

In exchange for corporate cash, he changes his name to Pepsi® Peterson, he covers his house, car and clothes in Toyota® ads, and promotes Disney® products wherever he goes. He soon becomes known as ‘the human sell-out’, appearing on TV chat shows and in magazines and newspapers. His visibility sky rockets – and consequently, so does his income.

In the attempts to secure one last massive pay-off, he posts himself on Ebay®. Far too late, Peterson recognises the flaw in his plan when a bidding war erupts between a thought-to-be-dead fairground owner/pop star from Gary, Indiana (played by Tracy Morgan) and a sadistic dominatrix (played by Sarah Palin®).

Possible dialogue:

Pepsi (to the dominatrix): “Please Madame, not the right testicle… It’s sponsored by Little Big Bingo!”

Red Menace (PG-13)

July 15, 2009

Red Menace (PG-13)

red menace

Over the course of a few weeks, famed geneticist Dr James Cornell (Sir Ben Kingsley) begins to notice strange phenomena amongst his friends and colleagues… they’re all going ginger. Assuming that perhaps it is some sort of celebrity influenced fad, he initially thinks nothing of it.

One evening, when President Obama (Tracy Morgan) appears on national television sporting a red hair doo, he realises something is going terribly, terribly wrong.

After some preliminary research in his laboratory, Dr Cornell discovers that there is an alien virus converting people to gingerism. He tries to convince his non-ginger colleagues but they all think he’s crazy. In hopes of developing an antidote, he’s forced to go undercover (dying his hair red) in attempt to find the origins of the virus (perhaps Scotland?)

Dr Cornell finds himself in a race against time to stop the ‘red menace’… before it’s too late.

Shoe City (G)

February 1, 2009

 

pixar1

Shoe City (G)

Basic rom-com (slob male/unattainable babe) with a Disney/Pixar twist: all the characters are shoes. They all live in a divided city with the fashionable shoes living on the west side and the unfashionable shoes (e.g. trainers, running shoes) on the east side. The city is divided by a giant wall that is patrolled by eagle-eyed bouncers.

Aspiring rock star, Chuck (Kevin James) and his best friend, burned out 70’s casualty Dietmar Moonjazz (David Bowie), spend their days dreaming of making it over the wall to the west, where they feel they belong.

One day, at the annual Mid-town rave, Chuck meets Sally (Scarlett Johansson), who is a Westsider! They fall in love but she’s engaged to Vito ‘Etch-a-Sketches’ Smackallino (Tracy Morgan), reigning king of Shoe City’s drug trade (& mayor). [note: Unbeknownst to Sally, Vito is having an affair with nightclub singer, ‘Rug Burns’ Pastaggio (Megan Fox).]

 

At the stroke of midnight Chuck & Sally are forced to part along with the rest of the population and return through the central gate to their own side of the city until next year. But Chuck can’t wait that long…

Can Chuck & Dietmar make it over the wall disguised as fashionable lady-shoes and find Sally again before the wedding? If so, can Chuck & Sally escape the wrath of Vito? Will Chuck & Dietmar be allowed to stay in the West & fulfill their dreams?

Possible dialogue:

Chuck: “Mr Smackallino, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for Shoe City, if you seek liberalization: Come here to this gate! Mr. Smackallino, open this gate! Mr. Smackallino, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL!” (crowd erupts into wild applause)

Original song:

“Together we’re a pair” by Tom Waits and that girl from the Ting Tings.

 

Kevin James

Kevin James

 

Scarlett Johansson

Scarlett Johansson

 

Megan Fox

Megan Fox

David Bowie

David Bowie

Tracy Morgan

Tracy Morgan