Containment Contaminant (PG-13)

Alternate Title: Compromised Immunity

Master of disguise

After a viral outbreak devastates Earth’s inhabitants, one island nation shuts itself off from the rest of the world.

Ruled by an evil queen (Dame Judi Dench) and her idiot son, the island’s inhabitants are kept under control with cheap and readily-available booze. In-breeding becomes the norm and outsiders are forbidden.

When virus-ridden, American boy-genius/master of disguise Skip Hipplemeyer (Haley Joel Osment) infiltrates the island to find his long lost mother (Nigella Lawson) – who happens to be Head of the Secret Police, things get a little interesting…

Possible Dialogue:

Skip (dressed up in a ridiculous prince costume and using an obviously fake accent): Mumsy… may I have a popsicl…err… I mean… ice lolly?

Loop-de-Loop (PG-13)

December 7, 2008



Billy (Owen Wilson) & Jimmy Loop (Luke Wilson) are two cocksure former Air Force pilots who are still struggling with their discharge from the Armed Forces. Having drifted apart after their discharge, they are to be reunited for the anniversary of their father’s death.

On September 11th, 2011, Billy & Jimmy are flying home to San Francisco on separate flights. Just as they are about to land, the planes seemingly have a mind of their own. Unbeknownst to the passengers, the planes have been commandeered by a cyber-terrorist (Omid Djalili) who has implanted a chip into the planes’ computer systems. Using this chip, the terrorist is able to control the planes from a remote location.

While the rest of passengers are panicking, the Loops spring into action knowing that their piloting skills may be useful. Having discovered that the current airline pilots are incapable of handling the situation themselves, the Loops take over the jumbo planes.

It’s the first time they’ve piloted in several years. They are soon in communication with the head of air traffic control, James Preston (Dennis Hopper) who fills them in with the details of the day’s events. So far, 4 planes have crashed into famous landmarks throughout the US. After recognising each others voices over the radio, the brothers are astonished that they have found themselves in identical situations.

It becomes abundantly clear that the planes are heading toward the Golden Gate Bridge.  Fellow passenger, boy genius Skip Hipplemeyer (Hayley Joel Osment), manages to use his laptop to render the controlling device useless. Having been informed of the kids’ intervention, Billy Loop instructs Jimmy similarly over the radio. With moments to spare, the brothers are given control of the planes and are forced to rely on their piloting skills. Just as it appears that they have run out of time, the brothers pull off a stunning loop-de-loop to avoid disaster.

Status: Plug pulled after threat of lawsuit by makers of Cabin Pressure.