Box Office Poison (UR)

September 2, 2009

Box Office Poison (UR) (English language version)

cat

donatella

Genre: Lurid Italian horror/thriller

Lonely, creepy, Venetian cinema projectionist, Dario Dante (Geoffrey Rush) has only one interest in life: Donatella Versace. He stalks her around the sinister alleyways and canals of Venice, secretly filming her. He then edits the footage together with his own home movies, to create a make-believe love story which he screens late at night, while gratifying himself, surrounded by the hundreds of screaming wild cats who inhabit his cinema (all of whom have cat-AIDS).

One day a ray of light enters his life. His humble cinema has been chosen to host the premiere of Sophia Loren’s latest movie First Doggy. All of the top celebrities in Italy will be attending, including Donatella. Dario takes this as a sign that they are meant to be together and begins to make preparations for the big night.

Meanwhile, Donatella is aware she is being stalked but not by whom. She hires a personal security adviser: retired English detective, Ginny Swine (Judi Dench) – who moves into the Versace mansion and begins a torrid and totally inappropriate lesbian affair with her employer.

The night of the premiere arrives. Half way through the movie, Dario swaps it for his ‘love story’. The audience is shocked at first but then they (including Donatella) begin laughing. Dario is sent over the edge by a mixture of shame and anger, and decides to put plan ‘B’ into action (ie kill everyone). He releases a canister of Zyklon B poison gas that he’s hidden beneath Roberto Benigni‘s seat.

As the auditorium fills with dead and dying Italian celebs, five lucky souls manage to crawl to the foyer (Ginny, Donatella, Silvio Berlusconi & his new girlfriend: Foxy Knoxy, & err? that porn star/politician with the big boobs who was married to Jeff Koons). Together they must attempt to escape the labyrinthian & booby trapped cinema, while Dario & his AIDS infected cats try to pick them off one by one.

Who will survive?