G-Gnomes (PG-13)

January 22, 2010

G-Gnomes (PG-13)

Big-budget, live-action reboot of the popular Canadian children’s cartoon series.

Nestdancer (Peter Drinklage) & Magicgrin (Tom Cruise) lead an elite team of genetically-modified garden gnomes on a secret mission behind enemy lines in Afghanistan.

Their mission: to nuke the poppy fields and thereby win the war on drugs and terror in one fell swoop.

Go G-Gnomes!

Possible dialogue:

Magicgrin: Jesus fucking Christ, Nestdancer… don’t go faggot on me! You knew there’d be casualties on this mission! We’re doing this to stop the kids in Quebec from becoming fucked up junkies, like your mother! Now let’s nuke these homos and go home, capiche?!”