The Pizza Boy Tragedy (G)

March 30, 2009

The Pizza Boy Tragedy (G)


Genre: Another one for the kids

Pizzeria owner, Jimmy Gepetto (Robert Loggia), always dreamt of having a son to call his own. One evening he makes a boy-shaped pizza, places it in the oven and whispers a wish before drifting off to sleep.

When Jimmy awakes, he is surprised to find a small pizza-boy (Tom Cruise) running around his restaurant. Recognizing the potential marketing appeal of a pizza-boy, Jimmy begins to exploit the boy’s image. Success soon follows and chains of ‘Pizza-Boy®’ pizzerias appear everywhere.

Pizza-boy grows disillusioned with his father, who now has very little time for him. One night, Pizza-boy sneaks out of the restaurant and runs into Jiminy Cockroach (voiced by Steve Buscemi), a sleazy pimp whose ‘girls’ are actually rodents. Pizza-boy is lured into the red light district and ultimately, to his death – devoured by prostitute vermin.

Possible dialogue:

Jiminy: “Hey Pizza Boy! You look like a guy who could use some rat pu**y. Am I right or am I right?”

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